Written by Timothy Monday, 20 July 2009 20:44

If I ever heard of some guy proclaiming to be a philosopher of metal I would probably say to myself, "What the hell? Who is this lame-o supposing that he's got his conniving finger on the pulse of the metal community? Is this some royal d-bag from d-bag-town who has come to perform a capitalistic sacking of everything metal stands for?"

If you were thinking something along the same lines then your distrust would be well founded; you would be thoroughly justified in your prejudgement of this so called metal philosopher. But here is the catch: this is MetalTome dot fucking com and that kind of horrid act of non-metal would cause a furious uproar that would surely echo through the halls of Valhalla itself. The other thing is this: I already know what you're thinking because I'm one of you and I think like you. You're on this website for the same reasons that I am and I'm going to do my damnedest as a man of metal to put a voice to the thoughts that come to mind between the belting of the lyrics and those 5 second pauses between songs. Plus I think that you are just in for some really good reading if you care about metal as much as I do.

Alright, so I'm a philosopher of metal and it's my favorite kind of music, that's plain enough but who the hell am I and what are my credentials? Well I'm not Yngwie but I have been learning guitar and writing music and I can spell his name correctly on my first attempt. I am pretty much a Renaissance barbarian man - Very well rounded  but far too untamed for society. I like feats of strength such as lifting heavy things, doing one arm pushups, jumping great distances and heights and also this one: working on weak points which I will argue is both metal and a strength. I also like to write and oft fantasize about ancient times and how much better they must have been for rolling around naked in flowery fields with a fair maiden from the village. Okay, did I say that? Well it's admittedly my true fantasy about a most-likely untrue period of time and place (oh but how I wish it were so simple...) and a necessary quirk to shamelessly share about myself for public joy.

On a more intelligent note, I like to talk about the deeper sides of metal as it becomes more and more a part of who I am and less a thing about the music. When I was heavily into punk rock it felt mostly to me to be a phase about anger and apathy. As I evolved to like the more symphonic and complex sounds of metal, it became a unique phase about all the rest of what life is about. Character building in its own bizarre way, romantic, artful, thought provoking and historical at times, metal covers the spectrum of emotion much like the equally great genre of classical music only with double bass pedals and a little more shredding. Anyways, now you've seen the sense behind the subheading I use which is Iron, metal, the pen and the sword.

The reason I speculate that most people come to a website like this and read this far into this article is not entirely unrelated to my silly fantasy that I shared (what is it about faerie women?) I imagine that most of us feel that we are without culture or that our lives are too compartmentalized between work, play, religion, etc.. Our world has made a turn for the better in so many ways and on the other hand it has become so much more uptight, weak, and fractured. The present day pantheon of gods for each country is an opera buffa of celebrities who we often don't feel are the ones deserving of the fame. Consider just about any industry, be it one responsible for the sale of goddamn chocolaty delights or one that puts out music (that would be the music industry) and tell me that you cannot find a superior quality underdog who cares more about community and quality than profit. These types are the ones that should command fame! And it's the sense of community and equality that underdogs seem to nurture that is really what we're all here on metal tome for - for it is a condensed brother and sisterhood of like-metal-minds to feel at home with. So recline into a soothing iron maiden of comfort in an oft-vomitous and backward land here on Metaltome.

Being my first article for my new section, I had better select a point at which to stop and I do believe this will be it. I hope we can all grow to call Metaltome a sanity policy and I would be flattered if Philosopher of Metal, as it carries on into the future, could ever be contingent in your sanity as well. I will post often so please watch for future tirades I embark upon as they pertain to life, music and metal; three synonymous words in my eyes. May we all rest assured that we are not alone in blasting the rightcheous rifs as we wander this earth!

- The Philosopher of Metal

Written by :

Timothy

 

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Pellegrino Ricci said:

	... You're damn right man. These ignorant motherfucker don't know nothing about the life of metaller or metal philosofer. So they speak out of their ignorance and the only thing they can do is insult people have choosen their own lifestyle.
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March 10, 2010
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Gnagnell said:

... There is no need to describe yourself as for every action you've made in order to prove yourself a philosopher of metal. You are not for elections or anything like a presidency. Being a philosopher is a deep matter. Simple, huh? -And stating that is probably the one thing simple about it. It is still remarkable your interest about fulfilling that position. I can't think of any philosopher being as silent as strong in every word that comes out of his/her mouth. And that is what philosophers are.

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March 03, 2010 | url
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Suricata said:

	... What do you mean metal isn't king of the hill? Oh... you probably meant the TV show. It's king of the world damnit!!
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November 06, 2009
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Tim said:

Thanks Thanks for reading and especially for the kind words, Eric! At least Metaltome is growing at an appreciable rate - it's that whole underdog thing again. As for the music there will always be lures to the simpler stuff that's out there and that's fine. Music is just like everything else revolving around human nature, many people are into the whole pack/peacock mentality and will totally miss the point no matter what. I'll not say that metal is king of the hill, just that as far as musical genres where you can plum meaning from it's definitely high on the list! I'm glad you're all about depth!

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August 14, 2009
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Eric said:

wow well played Tim, I couldn't have said it better myself, it's a shame this website isn't taking off as much as it should. I too consider myself a philosopher of metal, quite a controversial title as many seek to obtain it. I do feel however that many who call themselves "metal heads" don't go as deep into the music as I do, I haven't met very many people that are as passionate for this music as I am, and I'm glad I'm not the only one trying to change that.

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August 14, 2009
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