Written by Timothy Saturday, 01 August 2009 10:42
I don't know what to do right now, keep on listening to Cain's Offering on Youtube in anticipation of buying their CD and continue experiencing euphoric explosions in my head or go back to practicing on the guitar. I guess I'll settle for writing a little something about this perfectly enjoyable predicament.
I'm not really one for wasting time. Even when I'm at work I am always singing things into my voice recorder and recording ideas for a story I am writing. It seems to me that the energy we were granted by our birth should get spent on interesting things nigh to exclusivity. Right now, I am wonderfully free from any bullshit obligations and I am taking all of my caged metal energy that built up all week and doing my best to unleash it. All at once I feel like running off somewhere away from everybody, fighting a horde of enemies, completing dozens of different endeavours that I've undertaken, impressing people, inspiring people, hurting people, but mostly I think I would like to lock eyes with someone who understands any of this and just scream! AGGHHH!!!!
I want unification for my feelings. I am direly in love with mystique and romanticism. I want fellowship along for the ride inside of my head where it seems there is a mess of convolution. I want that feeling at a concert where the asshole next to you who has been pissing you off all night puts his arm around you and you both tear it up in a new-formed mosh pit.
The assholes next to you in the moshpit. |
I want to be surprised by humanity. I guess I feel something like Bruce Dickinson must have between writing the lyrics for Out of the Silent Planet and Blood Brothers but that is only partially encompassing of my condition. I can bounce between resenting our race and wanting to somehow martyr myself for it. I feel quite a lot of things and can only commit so many of them to words - just like how one song never says it all.
Isn't it strange how paradoxical we all are? How can we strive for ideals one day and the next strive spit on them indstead? I think most people have contemplations about these sorts of things but most are busy suppressing them with recitals of moral beliefs in their minds. Why not go back to being human instead? It's metal to be who you are. I've done a lot of different things with my life so far, gone to a lot of extremes already that most people save for their midlife if they ever bother with them at all. It's easy for me to see how the spirit, body and mind are all to be improved but there still remains the limitation of being human. Nobody is goddamn perfect! The best teachers I've had have always admitted their flaws, exposing human weakness. The worst seemed more like actors. We're a complete package of love, lust, lawbreaker, lawmaker, hate, happiness, hope, and cynicism. I'm going in a lot of directions here but what can I say... There's a lot of shit encompassed in a single human mind and proper article format is just some asshole's imposed belief anyways.
Nobody is perfect! |
Basically here is my point: This is what my version of caged metal energy looks like. Art nurses the wounds that company doesn't always heal. I think that no person creates art without a desire for understanding. Romantic ideas fall away and we realize that there's no absolutely flawless friend or lover to understand the artwork, just more flawed human beings to identify with our shared notion that we all want something more. We are just merely trying to be our best and ultimately, I feel like metal is what it is to be in that state of realization - broken, seeking, and agressively human.
I'm going to go back to being those 3 things now, just via a different medium. Until next time!
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Subscribe to this comment's feed Raevyn said: 
 | Thank you This comment is late in coming, considering how old this article is, but you spoke what has been in my heart for so long and I haven't had the words to say. New to metal, new to all of this, I hope to one day live how you say you live. Passion is powerful when guided by honor, pride, respect, and discipline. There are people like you in this world, though few and far between. Have faith. Finding Metal was the best thing that has ever happened to me, aside from finding my true love. Metal, not just the music, but everything you've written, has lived in my soul and been screaming to be released. Now I find it pouring out of me. Just wanted to thank you for your words, which added more fuel to my fire. |
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